2003-01-26

When the end of the world comes, I think I want to ignore it.

I am going completely ostrich on this one. I'm gonna buy a generator, 44 gallon drums of diesel fuel, and a large stockpile of tinned foodstuffs, along with a bottle or two of some high quality painkillers. Then I am going to the video store to hire out all of the movies I have never seen and watch them one by one on DVD. As the trees crash around my house, as the sky fills with fighter pilots, as any form of intellect is taken off to the dungeons and clamped to the wall, I will be a princess in my castle of doom with the blinds closed and eating baked beans in barbeque sauce stright from the can. I will entertain myself visually, never leaving the couch (*mental note: buy colostomy bag), and when it all becomes just a little too much i shall down a bottle of pills and take a big hearty manswallow of Jack Daniels. Night night.

But the world isn't going to end. There is just going to be endless argy bargy between America and Iraq. And of course Australia will send some fellas over to fight, if not for the peace of the world then a little free trade agreement will do. I wonder if Howard realizes he is sacrificing lives in order to be able to export wheat and beef. And eventually one of the empires will collapse and there will be aid and missionaries and political dissertations and a UN inquiry...

And we'll be left here, coping with an outdated fuedal belief structure and complaining about how the quality of toilet tissue degenerates in a war. Then the great stock market machine will grind its gears and suddenly no more recession but boom time! and the worst of our troubles will be which piece of German engineering will we drive to work today. We will celebrate whitegoods and kiss babies. We will mourn the loss of so many lives while we eat new and improved genetically modified low-starch meals. We will sit silently in chairs facing our compscreen, nodding off at four o'clock and wishing that we were brighter, shinier, happier new 'us' es. We will drink ourselves to death in a brave new world.

As you may have guessed I am not to happy about Dubya getting ready to pull the trigger. Ineveitable as it is, I was kinda hoping we could wait another twenty years or so before blowing the shit out of each other. Then it would really be my kids' problem, not mine. Forward thinking of me, no?

O say can you see

By the dawn's early light

The thousands of bodies

That were slaughtered last night...

bitch - moan