2004-08-13

Fooeey to negative thoughts....

Last night was the big fashion parade at the fabric bitches that i was supposed to have organised. I was blue all night, couldn't figure out why until I realised that i was mourning the loss of being the star of the show by putting on a great party. A horrible little part of me hoped that it would suck and they would flounder bigtime, but I caught the goss from the Italian Love Machine who attended the shindig that all went off without a hitch and they had 350 people there. Bugger. No, no, good vibes and karma... good on Spaccky for getting her shit together and putting on a show. Pity it was my idea in the first place...

But I'm over all that today, and back out job hunting. Apprently I am either too qualified or not qualified enough, and its starting to shit me. 12 rejection letters and only one interview later I am starting to think that maybe the universe does not want me to get another job in marketing and sales. Which I completely agree with, however my time spent watching Dr Phil does not generate the income necessary to pay rent and bills. On a positive note though being without work has had me re-assess my eating and i have lost 3 centimetres off my waist and hips. Hurray for me! the soup diet queen. I am determined to lose 28 kilos by Christmas. Now sure 28 is a random-ish number but it will get me significantly below the 100+ mark I am currently weighing in at. It will mean I can aerial acrobatics in a plane if I choose. At the moment I can only do basic flight training as any tricky maneouvers would result in a possible myocardial infarction (I don't know if it actually would or not but I just like the word infarction). Not that i have been doing much flying of late due to a severe lack of funds... but I do aim to hold my private pilot's licence by the time I am 40.

Speaking of years, I think I have been regressing a little lately, and certainly not acting 30. I do feel like I'm still in my mid twenties, but the reality is I am now too old to audition for Australian Idol, regardless of how young, dumb and full of cum I feel. Ah well, just can't wait for that ol' biological clock to - shut the hell up! It just keeps ticking off the days and months, bonging away inside to remind me that it is time to think about progeny. But I don't want them yet! How can I even be thinking about kids??? I am sure I would be either over or under-qualified to have them anyway. And who needs the psych baggage? Oh god, to be responsible for giving another human being a behavioural problem... and I know some people live for that, but not me. And do you think my mother will shut up and stop asking when we're thinking about having them - NO! She's crotcheting a christening gown for heaven's sake, and I'm not even Christian.

Oh oh vent vent vent... at least the singing is going well. Got a gig tonight, v excited, and feel confident about blowing them away with a good set of lungs. If my voice sounds shit I gues I can always do shadow puppets as a distraction - works everytime.

Time to go and email some more prospective employers, oh goody! Hurray for you.

bitch - moan